They say that marathon runners routinely hit "the wall", that moment in the race when it seems impossible to go on. Your lungs feel seared, your legs feel like jello, and your will to even one step farther droops like a wilted flower. Now, I'm no marathon runner. Before embarking on this adoption, the closest I get to marathon anything is my incredible endurance when it comes to shopping for clothes... But I know about the wall. And I've hit it. Hard.
The finish line seems really distant. I feel as if the more I press forward, the farther away the finish line has become. My spirit is sagging like that wilted flower.
Mind you, I'm not giving up the race. I'm staying in the race, difficult as it feels. But wow, this is tough.
6 comments:
Hang in there, sis. I'll bot you in the bottom as long as it takes to get to the finish!
that would be "boot"you in the bottom. ..not 'bot'
I just followed your link from Rummor Queen. I totally understand your brick wall problem. It is SO hard. We just got our I-171 re-new packet yesterday in the mail. I am completely overwhelmed! Hang in there. I'm just going to take it a day at a time.
I'm sorry you're feeling so discouraged right now. I hope that those referrals speed up soon. But you will make it and you WILL have your daughter soon.
May, I just vent, shout, scream... I'm reading the rumors, that November pp are looking forward to receiving a May referral. Are they crazy, that would mean, August, or Sept. for us. I refuse to believe we may not have a referral until next Aug. Another, year. Ugh, I know time flies as we get older, and time flies, if we keep our selves, busy, and I know that this will all be worth while in the end, but hey, give me a bone, something, a glimmer, a ray of hope... My wish would have November referrals all in Nov. and then have the CCAA double up, beg. in December. Yup, that's my wish... Now, I feel better...
Nina, I am so sorry!!!!!!!! This is really not fun at all. You are a very strong person though, and this is your dream...and it is going to come true eventually. I hope that inspite of everything you will be able to summon your strength and find it in you to enjoy the journey. Just as things slowed down, I know that they can speed up again and that's definitely what I am hoping for. We want you to get the right baby at the right time. One of my friends started her masters degree as she was finishing her paperwork. At first I thought it was crazy, now I think it was a stroke of genius. Any huge project you could take on?
Just know that you have my understanding (this has been soooo hard) and my complete support. And I think that it is great that you are venting it.
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