Eight months since our LID! Part of me feels good about this: Yes! Fantastic! Great! We're making progress!. Another part of me feels decided sour: Big friggin' whoop... Eight months is a drop of water in the proverbial bucket ( and I need that bucket to emotionally puke my impatience with this process, and purge the frustration) ... We may have another 20+ months to go... By the time we get our referral and travel to China, a snail could have crawled the length of this football field.
The unhappy truth is, Kavanna is becoming less real to me. When we first sent our dossier to China, I could easily imagine what it would be like to hold her and kiss her. I saw myself changing diapers, comforting her cries, watching her smile, hearing her talk. I imagined David pushing the baby jogger and being a great daddy, very attentive and caring. When I told people, excitedly, "We're adopting from China," she was real to me/us.
Now, she seems less like a person and more like a very faraway concept. I feel as if I'm on a treadmill, walking and walking and getting nowhere. The sound of a baby's laughter is getting dimmer in my mind.
7 comments:
The extended wait is much like the latter stages of labor. At least, I choose to believe that. Just when you are sure that you cannot go on, it will not happen, the changes to put your baby in your arms will come. It may not make it easier right now but she WILL come.
I, myself, just decided to go with the 'mental epidural' and make things a bit numb for awhile. I'll adjust the 'dose' as baby is coming closer.
Hope I (and you) don't have to keep re-dosing for another year!
Eight down...it IS closer.
I totally understand!
Yes, I know what you mean. The wait for us has been 6-8 months since our LID. It was 6-8 months then 10/31/05 and it may be 6-8 months now! Urgh! But Connie's right, it is getting closer. We just can't tell.
I remember feeling this way in May, the finish line just kept moving further and further out. It's strange though, when it does finally happen it all seems to be happening so fast. I am so glad for the things I did to get ready, because it's really a whirlwind now.
Keep positive. 8 months are done. 8 months finished. You are closer than you once were. Hang in there...
I know how you feel, I feel your pain... This wait seems endless, but hang on Nina, because WE ARE ALl on this ride together. Some of just feel the bumps more. hugs, ml
I feel your pain! This extended wait has been incredibley painful!
I do wish for you many blessings on your adoption journey. It's a tough road to get there but it will be worth it in the end!
Post a Comment