Kavanna was not so happy last Sunday when we went to the Bastille Day Festival. Everyone parked at the stadium and big white vans took us to the festival. As soon as we got into the van Kavanna started to tremble and look frightened. We think that the day her foster mom took her to the orphanage, a white van drove her and the other babies from the orphanage to Nanning, where she was placed into our arms... We think she remembered the van and was afraid her life was about to change again. We just hugged her and told her we were all going to stay together. She clung to me in what can only be described as terror. Later, on the way back to the parking lot, she was much more relaxed.
She is a happy girl, very smart, very joyful, friendly and outgoing... but the past trauma is still there, and unpredictable things can trigger it.
She is a happy girl, very smart, very joyful, friendly and outgoing... but the past trauma is still there, and unpredictable things can trigger it.
7 comments:
Oh my goodness, look at that baby...
(I hear you about the other issue--a lady at a restaurant told Frances "Im just going to scoop you up and take you home with me" and she SCREAMED bloody murder... poor things...)
And people think that tiny children don't remember.....I'm so glad she has you to protect and love her and take her worries away. She is such a beautiful child!
Adorable photo!
they do remember...
glad she was able to see that it would never happen again though :O) Adorable photo!
She's so beautiful! What a lucky mommy you are!
xo~
Di
Beautiful!!
I think terror "events" will pop up for a long time.
Alyzabeth's Mommy
Hi Nina! We've learned that Alexa has strong memories of her pre-adoption life in a number of ways. For example, Alexa would start to fall asleep in my arms when we were at a Creative Movement class for the first few lessons back in late Spring. Realized afterwards that it was her way of coping with the experience of watching people gradually coming into the small room for the class, similar to the waiting room experience in Nanning! People were gradually bringing in their children that "Family Day" in Nanning which we think is still very vivid in Alexa's memory being 21 mos. old then. A child psychiatrist indicated to us that it was her way of disassociating from the moment and to be wary of any further ongoing behaviour like this and to remove her from the situation when it happens again in order to stop the disassociation. Fortunately, after some reassurance from us, and repeated positive experiences at the class, she came out of her "shell" and enjoyed the class! However,she is naturally cautious and wary of strangers which we prefer anyways, and to this day, some people can be overbearing in their greetings who really don't even know Alexa. Some people think that young children are willingly open to all experiences and people, so we find we just have to advocate for Alexa's privacy and protection of her feelings etc. sometimes during her moments of uncertainty or fear as she cannot at the moment verbally express herself in some social situations. However, that said, one visit recently to the family doctor let us all know how she can communicate her unwillingness to be in a situation. With a repeatedly emphatic and directive tone of voice, she said to me (with the doctor, student doctor Brian and I all in the same room): "Mama, go now!" (meaning she wanted me to take her out of the doctor's office pronto!). After a quick exam, the doctor laughed and said "At least she can talk now!". Life's unexpected moments with a child who has been adopted with who knows what remains embedded in memory of past life in China. Sounds like you are so in tune with Kavanna! Zoe
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