New York Times Article

In yesterday's New York Times magazine there was an article about the families of children adopted internationally looking for their children's birth families. One mother told of her Chinese daughter, who sent balloons up into the air towards China each year along with a message for her birthmother, assuring her that she had a good life in America. When the mother searched for her daughter's birth family, she learned first that the birth mother was dead, and the man claiming to be the father (he said he had an affair with the birth mother) failed a DNA test. The daughter was heartbroken and the mother now longs for the days when they optimistically sent balloons to China...

I have mixed feelings about the concept of finding birthparents. On the one hand I respect the need for (some) adoptees to know where they came from, to have some connection to the people to whom they are biologically connected, and even to know pragmatic things such as medical history. On the other hand, the reality of those connections can be devastatingly disappointing. I can't imagine the disappointment of people searching for birthmothers who ultimately reject them or, in one of the situations described in the article, basically just want to get money. Or to find a birth family with whom communication is difficult, not only because of language differences, but because the cultural differences are impossible to overcome.

It's a tough question. What are your thoughts?

Waiting Parents Dim Sum Extravaganza

We had the pleasure of meeting a lot of other waiting families today... and feasting on dim sum... it was great to talk to other people who are waiting, and who "get it" (unlike so many well intentioned friends, family members, co-workers, et al). A huge THANK YOU to Di and Beth for their thoughtful gifts and for organizing this wonderful event!





David and Nina at one of the two tables of waiting families. That's Di and Dave behind us.

Not a chicken claw in sight (although we were offered them and declined graciously)

Some new friends at the table... Betsy, Laura and her daughter Laina, Kathy and Dianne.

Di and Dave and Dave, who's married to Kris, who's out of camera range. Yes, any guy who wanted to sit with us had to be named David!

20 month LID anniversary

As of yesterday, October 6th, we have been in this long, interminable line for 20 months.

Grrrrrrrrr.

I'm just incredibly irritated right now. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that my six month old MacBook just crashed to the point that the service person I called at Mac had never encountered this kind of problem, and in addition my car has a flat tire.

But still... 20 months when we thought it would be six. People have stopped asking us about "the baby". I'm starting to believe it will never happen.