Tuesday, May 20, 2008


I am extremely grateful for the Rumor Queen site for the information and connections I find there. However, this week I found a disturbing trend, which was that moderators who personally objected to certain comments and/or lines of discussion were locking the threads.  One person wondered how the earthquake would affect international adoption.  In response, she was vilified and excoriated for simply posing the question, as if only a self-serving terrible person would dare to wonder how the earthquake might personally impact her.  I posted the following response, which I would like to share with anybody who cares to read it; shortly after my post, the moderator locked the thread.  The RQ royalty may be at times totalitarian, but the internet renders us a democracy and gives everyone a voice.   Here is mine:

Re: The impact of the earthquake on IA???

« Reply #38 on: May 15, 2008, 10:59:57 AM »

I may be missing something, but I didn't read any posts in which the writers hoped to somehow benefit from this tragic earthquake; rather, I extrapolated a realistic fear that the process would further slow down and thus directly impact all of us waiting parents.  What I'd like to suggest is that it is possible to both be horrified and saddened by the events taking place in China (and other parts of the world, for that matter) AND to wonder how this might affect the IA process.  

There seems to be a sense that wondering how the events of this week will impact us PAPs is unseemly and indicative of a moral transgression.  Yet, how can we not wonder how it will impact us?  In all likelihood it will impact us in some way and I think it's okay to have a forum in which we explore that question without fear of being vilified for this very human concern.  Again, wondering how the earthquake will affect our wait does not - to me - nullify any other feelings and thoughts of concern and compassion we have towards those people suffering in China. 

Speaking from my own experience, I watch the coverage and weep... as I have since Monday.  The devastation and destruction of lives is unimaginable and horrific.   My eyes are filling with tears as I write these words.

I also wonder about my daughter, where she is, and what she experienced.  Our LID is 2/06/06, so I believe she's been born.  When my bio daughter was two weeks old, the L.A. earthquake hit.  I was nursing her at the time and somehow I got to the doorway as the house rumbled and swayed and all I could think of was how I could protect her when the house collapsed (it didin't).  It's  painful to think of all the babies and children in China who didn't have someone holding them in comforting arms as the world shook.

Then I wonder if the process will slow down, and if so, if so many children who could go to loving homes will have to wait in orphanages.

And yes, I wonder how much longer the wait will be for me and for those after me. 

I hold all of these thoughts and feelings.  Concern for the wait does not outweigh or mitigate my concern for the Chinese people in this terrible time.  One does not cancel out the other.   I do not believe that my thoughts are illegitimate because I don't actually have a referral yet. 

This forum is supposed to be a safe place for us to express our concerns and feelings without condemnation.  Let's keep it that way.

Monday, May 12, 2008


If you would like to contribute to the relief efforts in China, here are some ways to do so:

GREAT WALL CHINA ADOPTION has started a relief fund for the orphanages in the Sichuan and Chongqing provinces.  These orphanages were directly affected by the earthquake (no word on how they have been affected or the welfare of the kids, just that the orphanages have been impacted).  Here is the link to the relief fund information:

 http://www.gwca.org/donate/earthquake-relief-fund/GW Donation Form.doc 

THE RED CROSS CHINA is currently accepting donations for the earthquake relief fund.  Here is the link: 

Red Cross Society of China website: www.redcross.org.cn 

LOVE WITHOUT BOUNDARIES is also starting a relief fund.  Here's the link:


Alternatively, go to the LWB website and you'll be directed to the link for earthquake relief:  www.lovewithoutboundaries.com

An update from HALF THE SKY, which has three orphanages in the region is that the children in those three orphanages were evacuated but are fine and that the buildings did not suffer great damage.  

Our hearts go out to those in China who are suffering tonight... 

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

27 month LID anniversary

27 months = 1.25 years 

Or, to put it another way, 21 months longer than we expected to wait.  Sigh.

There are 15 LIDs ahead of us (January 13 - January 27th, and then there is a gap during which nobody was logged in due to Chinese New Year.  We figure we'll get our referral in August.   That is, unless the CCAA decides not to do referrals right before the Olympics.  I'm not sure what the Olympics have to do with adoption, but my logic and CCAA logic do not jibe.  For instance, why are they still accepting dossiers?  Why????

So.  There it is, 27 months and counting.  But hopefully not for too long.  :)

I feel for everybody after us and my fingers are crossed for a speed-up after the Olympics.