Thursday, October 27, 2005

We are "excellent candidates" for adoption!!

Our final social worker visit was yesterday. Our social worker, Heidi, has made this process very straightforward and easy for us. She's detailed, informative, organized and nice. When we finished our meeting yesterday she asked if we had any questions for her.
David and I looked at each other. Only one question came to mind.
David said, "How'd we do?"
She told us, "Oh, you are excellent candidates for adoption."
WHEW! Since we started this process, a part of me has had difficulty believing this can really happen for us. That probably has a lot to do with our miscarriage. After we first saw the baby's heartbeat, I let myself believe that we'd have a happy ending to our pregnancy - then came that terrible moment when the ultrasound was still, no movement at all, and we realized we had lost the baby. In the past few months it's been hard to let myself hope that the adoption will really happen. Now I'm having more faith, and starting to think we really will end this journey with a baby (or babies) in our arms... which of course will begin a new journey for all of us.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Interesting Books on Chinese Adoption...

"Attaching in Adoption" by Deborah D. Gray
"Just Add One Chinese Sister" by Patricia McMahon and Conor McCarthy"
"Selected China Stories of Elder Respecting" published by the China Center of Adoption Affairs
"The Lost Girls of China" by Karin Evans

Nina & Ariel...

My baby is growing up... She's talking about college already (Yale, because they have the best drama program) and then she's Broadway bound! Right now she's in rehearsals for "Anything Goes" and our house is filled with Cole Porter music day and night, night and day...

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Why China?

That's the first question most people ask when we share our plans to adopt a baby girl (or girls, since we're requesting twins!) from China. There are no simple answers to that question. One reason is that babies from China are generally very well-cared-for, and healthy. Drug and alcohol use is almost unheard-of in Chinese women, and most babies are born to married women who take good care of themselves while pregnant. Many orphanages have high ratios of nannies to children, and there are fewer attachment issues in children adopted from China than from other parts of the world.

There are also many resources available to families who adopt from China. Families with Children From China ( has chapters all over the country. They provide social and educational opportunities, so that the children have a chance to see other families who look like theirs, to learn about their culture of birth, and more. I don't know what it will be like for Kavanna to be part of a family that is multi-racial. I imagine it might be odd for her to have a blonde, blue-eyed sister, for instance. Thanks to FCC, she'll meet others facing similar issues. Our hope is that she will feel less isolated and more connected to our family and our community given that kind of structured support (and our love, of course!).

That's part of the reason we're adopting from China. The real reason lies in our hearts... After seeing National Geographic's The Lost Girls of China and watching GWCA's informational DVD, we felt drawn to those little faces in a way we cannot really understand or describe. We chose China because those babies touched something inside us and the idea of bringing one or two of them home felt completely right.

There's a saying that's popular in the Chinese adoptive community. It's from an ancient Chinese proverb:

An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break.

I've always been too pragmatic to believe in destiny (I'll make my own destiny, thank you very much!!) but maybe there's something to it, after all. The other day I realized the kabala bracelet I wear is... a red thread.

Why China? For all these reasons and more we have yet to discover...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Meeting with the Social Worker...

In theory, having a Social Worker over to inspect our home - and more importantly, us - sounded scary. What would she think of us? Was our house up to par? Should we hide the pile of magazines? Or would a lack of homeyness indicate some kind of emotional sterility? Should we have cookies for her? Or would that make us seem like junk food parents? Blah, blah, blah... went our thoughts along these lines (I exaggerate, but only slightly!).

In reality, our first home study visit went very well. Our social worker, Heidi, was wonderful. Warm, professional, informative, and encouraging. We all enjoyed meeting her, and somehow the process seems even more real, too. Everyone at our home study agency, Partners for Adoption ( has been terrific. They do a lot of work with our agency, Great Wall China Adoption ( and we feel very confident in the process!