I want patience... and I want it NOW!

Lest anyone think that we're calm and collected about this interminable wait, we're not!!

Back in September we started this process and went into high gear, collecting documents, preparing our homestudy, subjecting ourselves to inspection from everyone from social workers to the Department of Homeland Security. Then came.... the BIG WAIT.

We waited for State Department approval (the 1-171H). Now we're waiting for the Chinese consulate to authenticate all our dossier paperwork. After we are DTC (dossier to China) we will wait for a LID (log in date) and then the clock officially starts ticking. By that time, it'll be ten times louder than any biological clock! The Chinese adoption affairs office is closing for two weeks at the end of this month, which means we may not get our LID until mid-February. With a referral rate that's now 9 months, and expected to increase to 10-12 months, we may not bring home Kavanna (et al, maybe) until Spring 2007.

I feel as if I've already been waiting for nearly two years. With each IVF treatment came the dreaded 2 week wait, to see if we were pregnant. Then there was the wait between ultrasounds to make sure everything was okay. Interminable!! At least this time the outcome will likely be positive and we will eventually bring home a baby (or two!). Still, since things can change without notice and there are no certainties, it's an emotionally grueling process.

The silver lining is that we've learned a lot about ourselves during this process. David and I got even closer during this last challenging year (adios 2005!). We learned we can depend on each other no matter what. I've also discovered that I am the Queen of Impatience (truly, I believe I take impatience to an elevated, and thus royal, degree).

It's a struggle to stay in the present and not be so future-focused. Hmmmm... it seems that Kavanna, whose name has to do with focus and purity of intention, is already teaching us (okay, mostly me) a thing or two.