Why Can't People Be Nice?

I posted this on RQ (yes, I am a lapsed addict but only to post on the "blowing off steam" column) and got so many positive and supportive responses that I thought I'd post it here, too. In case you've had a similar experience, you are not alone!!

I'm acquainted with a woman who adopted a precious baby from China about 2.5 years ago. She waited six months for her daughter. I run into her every few months and she always asks how things are going with the adoption. Last time I told her what the CCAA said in Australia about the wait increasing to 36 months.

She smiled (SMILED!!!) and said, "Oh, it will never go that long." (very condescending tone, too)

I said, "It took about four months just to get through October and November is bigger. The last two referrals have been for six days and two days respectively."

She said, "Where are you getting your information?" (said somewhat arrogantly)

I told her I'm on various sites on-line and very much aware of what was going on in the Chinese adoption community. The whole time I had this horrible feeling of having to DEFEND myself.

Then she said, "Well, it definitely won't go that long, but when you get your daughter you won't even remember the wait." (smugly)And then she scooped up her daughter and left.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. I felt so helpless and so dismissed. She completely invalidated my feelings about the wait, and even dismissed the idea that it is growing to ridiculous lengths each month.

Is it too much for someone to say, "Wow, I'm sorry you are having to wait so long. That must be really tough."

Seriously. What is up with this kind of insensitivity? I expect more from people who've been on this rollercoaster and it seems particularly egregious when they let me down and seemingly have no sympathy or even understanding.

Just my personal rant. Thanks for listening!

contemplating conspicious consumption

With rumors flying about referrals through mid-November, I'm allowing myself the luxury of pondering some baby-related purchases. As in, maybe... starting... to possibly... consider that these items may one day, in the future (mid-2008??) be part of our daily lives. Here's my wish list. I'm in love with Stokke products. These photos don't quite do justice to the real thing, both of which are way cool.

This baby needs help!

Look at that face and that smile! This adorable three month baby girl needs surgery that can help her live a normal, healthy life. We just donated to her surgery fund and hope that you will also donate to Love Without Boundaries to help her or one of the many other children who are in need of medical help. You can read more about her here or at the Love Without Boundaries website. It does not take a lot of money to make a huge difference in a child's life. If everyone who visited this site last week gave $20, the surgery would be paid for.

I hesitated to use our site as a way to solicit donations, ultimately felt it was the right thing to do. Thanks for helping!

15 Month LID Anniversary

Whoo-hooo. Or is it, boo-hoo?

We are anticipating our referral in ten months. We've basically been saying this the entire time we've been waiting. No matter how much time passes, we are still ten months away from referral, a year away from welcoming Kavanna into our family. It's like some surreal Twilight Zone episode.

I decided not to put my life on hold. I just applied to a doctoral program that starts in September. Watch, the speed-up will happen just as I'm about to start classes (presuming I get accepted, that is!).