Thursday, March 23, 2006

Waiting Families

















My heart goes out to the families with a May 31st LID. In January the CCAA sent referrals for dossiers logged in through mid-May 2005. The next batch matched through May 25th. Now they have matched only five days, May 26th through May 30th. It will take another month for the May 31st people to get their referrals. Yes, the CCAA will take four months to match one month of dossiers. I can't imagine how torturous this must feel to the May 31st families. Sending you sympathy, support and cyber-hugs...

Part of the hold-up may be the huge number of dossiers received in March, as a result of Oprah's show on Chinese adoption several months earlier. It's also rumored that the Hunan baby trafficking scandal caused officials give closer scrutiny to the babies' documentation. I'm very grateful to the CCAA for the care and attention to detail they give this process. I just wish they'd go faster!!

For the rest of us, this latest development means probably coming to terms with waiting until next year for our babies. The waiting period is 10-11 months as of right now, and will probably continue to lengthen (it was 6 months when we started this process!). It's likely that we won't get Kavanna for over a year (ugh, I hate even writing that).

I'm trying to keep a positive outlook and tell myself all the "right" things:

*It will happen when it's meant to happen (okay, what does that even mean??)

*The wait will disappear when we finally have Kavanna (people told me that I'd forget about the pain of childbirth, too; ha!!!)

*There's nothing we can do but make the best of it (yeah, I rationally get that but I also I hate feeling so powerless and helpless).

*Blah, blah, blah.

Anyone else out there feeling the same? What's the best way to get through this wait? What are you planning to do with your time? Leave a comment with any thoughts...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Nina,

I am as frustrated as you are and I can only imagine how the May 31st peopel feel! For the past few months I kept thinking it was going to get better but instead the wait just gets longer. So, now I have resigned myself to a 12 month wait and I am not even going to think it will go down. I pray that the wait does not exceed 12 months but I guess we never really know. I have decided this week that there must be a lesson in this wait for me and I think it is showing me how grateful I should be for my two beautiful sons and that I need to enjoy this time with them and our baby will come, maybe not soon but I guess when the CCAA determines the time is right! So hang in there, I know how you feel and I think we will all continue to have days where we feel optimistic about the process and then weeks like this will happen to remind us we are not in control of this process! Thansk for allowing me to follow your journey!

Melissa
LID 1/26/06
Waiting for Lily

Alyson and Ford said...

To pass the wait for tomorrow we are trying to live in the today.

We are planning a trip with a cousin to England next month. We are staying active with Church activities, teaching the Crown Financial study. We are making small "road trips" together. We are planning "get togethers" at friends. Attending concerts. We plan to host another "paint party". If you have never done this - you MUST! It is a hoot and you actually come away with a painting you did and can actually hang with pride.

In other words - we are doing the everyday things and staying busy with things that will be harder to do once Alyzabeth gets here. At least harder to do in the beginning.

We hate the slowdown but we somehow have to keep from turning it into a major depression :(

Hang on, we'll get there yet.

Carolyn said...

Hi, just wanted to post some cyber support! We are DTC 2/10 and we think LID 3/14 (don't have confirmation yet.) I was out of my mind yesterday. Angry, frustrated and downright sad. Today I'm determined to have a fresher outlook.

I think what this roller coaster is trying to do is make me evaluate what we are trying to accomplish and why. I think we came to the conclusion this morning that we will wait for our daughter from China even if it takes 2 years.

I started to panic last week and wondered if we should switch countries or pursue other avenues to parenthood. I thought our ultimate goal was to have another child, any child, added to our family as soon as possible before our 7 year old son gets any older. Well it turns out it's not about that. Michael and I actually really just want a little girl from China. And if she doesn't join our family until Andrew is 9 years old, so be it.

I've read where people have said they were "always drawn to China", or "I just know my daughter is in China", or "my HEART says China has the perfect little girl waiting for us", or the whole red thread thing. In the past I've thought I don't feel any of those things, I'm just selfish, I just want another kid.

The reality check that came with the thought this week of bailing out of this process was so heartbreaking that I'm beginning to think maybe I'm as sappy as all the others and my heart really is in China. :-)

Well that was cathartic! Thanks for letting me use your post to make me write it all out. I like it so much, I may just go post it on my blog. I'm sure the rest of my friends and family would like to see that I haven't checked into a padded room after all the emotions of the past week!
Thanks,
Carolyn