First day of (high) school!

My baby is growing up.   Here's how she looked just before she left for the first day of school.  And yes, she colored her hair fire-engine red (it definitely matches her personality).

Back to school shopping!!

When I'm thinking about The Wait, time seems to slow to an interminable crawl.  

When I'm shopping for First Day Of School Clothes with Ariel, time goes by as quickly as Usain Bolt on the 200 meter race.  Or any race, for that matter.  I know this because we spent five hours - yes, FIVE HOURS - at the mall yesterday!!    

We had a goal in mind.  Our thoughts were focused.  Our mission was to find the perfect outfit for the first day of high school.  We succeeded in our mission.  This photo was taken at the finish line - er, the end of the day.   

Can you tell I watched wayyyyy too much Olympics??

Shameless bragging

Ariel has recently gotten interested in photography.  These are a couple of her recent self portraits.  I'm so proud of her! 

The blue wall is the color of her bedroom.  When we had Kavanna's room painted I didn't want Ariel to feel left out and asked if she wanted her room painted as well.  I let her pick the color. Her first pick was a deep magenta (and dark blue ceiling), which I didn't approve of, but this one is beautiful!!  It's such a happy color, for a happy, vibrant kid.

Where are you? What are you feeling?

David, Ariel and one of her friends are at an all-day concert listening to metal bands (not for me, thank you very much) which means I've been catching up on bills, puttering around, cleaning the garage... and thinking about... well, what else do I think about these days?

I'm thinking about Kavanna. It's 5:45 in the morning in China. She's probably sleeping. At least, I hope she's sleeping! Is she in an apartment with a foster family? Is she in a vast room crammed with iron cribs? What is her life like? What will the day bring her?

I hope there are people in her life who love her and make her feel special. I hope she knows the safety of a warm embrace. ... that she has enough food to eat and that she gets to play and laugh. At the same time I fear she is deprived of too many of these things that so many children take for granted.

It's disturbing and disconcerting to hear about what life in the orphanages is like, or read how some foster parents are loving and some are indifferent. So I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. No matter what Kavanna's circumstances are now, in a few months she'll be coming home to a family who loves her, unconditionally and absolutely.

In the meantime all I can do is wish her a happy day, a good day... and send her a kiss from my heart.   

I'd like to think that somewhere on the other side of the world, a baby is smiling in her sleep.  She doesn't know it, but she can feel those kisses from the heart.  She doesn't know why, but she's happy.  

Sweet dreams, Kavanna.    We're coming for you soon!

What to do while you're waiting...

Sick of waiting?  Can't get your mind off the wait?  

Finding yourself going a little bonkers??

Read a book!

Read this book.

Adoption Parenting gives an excellent overview of the emotional and physiological issues that parents may face.  The authors explain issues of attachment in a manner that is acceptable and understandable.  I've read a plethora of books about parenting an adopted child.  Many of them are excellent, but often written for professionals rather than parents, or  geared only towards children who are clearly extremely traumatized.   This excellent book covers many issues - sleep, attachment, language, food, discipline, siblings, transracial issues, and other challenges - in a way that is readable, understandable and helpful.

When?????

Referrals are almost here!

Congratulations to everyone who will see their baby's face soon! We are thrilled that this day has finally come for you! I can't wait to see all those baby-licious referral photos!!

Ta da!

We're rocking our new blog - and loving it! Thank you to Diana, who made it happen!

SILENT TEARS provides a glimpse into life in a Chinese orphanage between 2004-2007. I found it heart-breaking to read about the needless suffering these children experience. It was heart-warming to recognize how the human spirit can prevail, both in the children themselves and the people who come to care for them and improve their lives.

If you are adopting from China, read this book.

New look coming soon...

You know how painting a room gives it a new, fresh look? And then you feel so much better in that room, as if it's brighter and better, somehow?  

Well, with the help of an expert we're giving this blog an update.  The basic format we've had for three years has got to go.  A new look is called for, as we're entering a new phase of our journey... and moving toward the beginning of a new journey (Journey WITH Kavanna).  Stay tuned!

2.5 Year LID Anniversary

(HAPPY MUSIC)  Sounds filter in.  Voices saying things like:  "Whoo-hooo.  Two and a half years, baby.  Yeah!  That's what I'm talking about!

And another anniversary - three years to the date since we started the application process.  Wow!!!!  Par-teee."

Wait.

SCRATCHY SOUND OF MUSIC COMING TO ABRUPT HALT.

This is not an anniversary that I want to celebrate.  Not at all.  

And yet there is much to celebrate, nonetheless.

During this two and a half years/three years (two anniversaries in one day, wow) I've learned just how connected David and I are (not that I had any doubts) and how we help each other through anything, no matter what.  I'd like to celebrate some wonderful new friends that I've made through this process, who I'd never have met otherwise.  I'd like to celebrate how inclusive and supportive the adoption community is, which makes me really happy.   I'd also like to celebrate that soon referrals will come and new families will be created and expanded.

CUE HAPPY MUSIC AGAIN!

There are no words... Wait. Yes, there are.

We heard today that our date is not included in this referral batch.  This is the smallest referral batch ever, less than half of what they normally do (the new normal, that is) and about ten percent of what they were doing not so long ago.   The only silver lining is that we are next.  Or not.  There is a remote possibility that there will be no September batch due to the Olympics.  This all leaves us:

Angry.  Flabbergasted.  Speechless.  Angry.  Astonished.  Enraged.  Confused.  Disappointed.  Angry.  Helpless.  Angry.  Outraged.  Hurt.  Worried.  Anxious.  

AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

That about sums it up.  I hope to hear Monday that referrals are on their way and expected to arrive Wednesday.  I hope to hear Wednesday that the CCAA referred at least through 2/06/06.  Those are my hopes du jour.  

Oh, and I hope for world peace, an end to global warming, as well as the health, happiness and prosperity of all my friends and loved ones.  Goes without saying.  But I'm saying it anyway.

Anxiety makes me sleepless, which makes me loopy.  I should be one loopilicious mama by the time Kavanna makes her arrival.