We're leaving in FOUR DAYS and I'm a nervous wreck. I'm waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. Where does that expression come from, anyway? From where are these metaphorical or suppositional shoes dropping? And why is it a bad thing? Are the shoes going to, say... drop on one's head and cause brain tauma? But I digress.
I'm worried about everything. Is this really going to happen? Really? I remember going home from the hospital after giving birth to Ariel and thinking, "These people are actually letting me take her home? Don't they know I don't have a clue about this mothering thing?"
So I fear the CCAA will say, "We've made a mistake. You can't adopt the happiest baby in China. We're giving you a 13 year old boy, instead." (not that there's anything wrong with 13 year old boys, mind you).
I imagine everyone else who's four days away from travel is ecstatic and at peace. Am I the only one who is losing her mind? It would be a good thing for a shoe to drop on my head. Maybe the ensuing brain trauma would snap me out of this anxious state!!
15 comments:
Yes, these feelings are the 'Braxton Hicks' of adoption. It's completely normal. But wait, it gets better!! There is no night longer than the night you have to get through until you go pick up your baby in the morning. This night will last for endless hours. I second guessed everything all night. I couldn't read, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't watch TV- only laying on the bed and thinking about all the things that could go wrong and doubting myself and the process. There are all sorts of variations to the night before the day you get your child, but just be ready for the LONGEST NIGHT EVER!
You made me think of Seinfeld, "not that there's anything wrong with that...."
Anyway, we've this to say:
May your skies be friendly,
may your bags be light,
may your baby be snuggly
and her sister's delight,
may small hands touch three hearts
may your stomaches stay well
'till joy wisks four back
to the place where you dwell.
xx~
D&D
You're thinking about proverbs and teenage boys? You must be packed. :-D Breathe, have a cup of tea. Please don't worry, Nina. Everything will go well. You'll see.
Sounds pretty normal to me! BTDT! I don't think it really sinks in that you can relax for several weeks (months?)until after you are home. For me, almost 5 months later, I still feel the relief of no more waiting and worries. I look forward to reading about your journey and learning about yoru relief when it is all over.
Just as the hospital trusted you with Ariel the CCAA will trust you with sweet Kavanna.
Hold on and BREATHE.
I bet you are nervous!! Its true about after having a baby..no one tells "what to do".
We sort of muddle through and hope for the best.Adoption will be the same for us,as it will be very new to us all !!
Gosh not long now.Thinking of you.
Nervous? Why would you be nervous? JUST KIDDING! Perfectly normal feelings!
So totally normal. I was crazed right up until I held her. And then its little steps to reality.
Getting back in the USA. Getting Sleep. Her getting you are mom and so on. I have to say the home free point for me was when we had her longer than anybody else.
Enjoy
ldw
Don't worry, we were clueless about babies and CCAA let us go with the best baby in China at the time. Perhaps it's well known by experts that no one knows what they are doing? Either that or hospitals and places like CCAA just don't want to take care of all these babies - better to send them home with us idiots! That's my theory anyway and guess what? We're doing great! You will too. You already are with one! What's one more? Go get her!
You are not the only basket case...
Nina,
I think there's a part of the surreal-ness that never really goes away. We've been home 5 months and I still look at Ethan sometimes and can't quite wrap my mind around traveling all the way to the other side of the world to get him. It still amazes me that he walked into my hotel room one day and became my son!
I was nervous and frantic in the days before we left; but the evening we were actually leaving (on one of those after midnight flights), I had a strange sense of peace. I felt like I should have been flipping out, but I wasn't; it was really weird.
Best of luck getting through the next few days. I can't wait to follow your journey on your blog.
-Nina Cesena
(LA waiting families)
Can we chalk it up to a form of "shock" -- omg, this is really happening?
As you know, we've been trying to have a family for 12 years and now that we're in the middle of our Russian adoption and awaiting court, I sometimes think "Is this really happening?" I really feel like I'm living someone else's life after so many years of disappointments!
But Nina -- this is it, sweetie! Your little Kavanna awaits you after years and years of waiting. The shock of reality is just settling in. Savor every moment!
xoxo
Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha! Boy do I remember those days! No sleep, long baths to try to relax, waking up in the middle of the night wondering if I would handle two? Wondering if I would love the second one as much as the first, doubts, worried that she would like us, health for everyone traveling. My husband was ready to stay in a hotel until we left for China.
Oh, and he got laid off a few months before we went so I worried that they would ask about emloyment and when they found out he was looking for a job they would take her back. Fortunately, they didn't ask-we didn't tell :)
When we got the call for Peter 9 years ago, I didn't sleep the night before either. Rick went right to sleep-I stared at the ceiling...all night...
All this to say, YOU'RE NORMAL! You will be fine. As soon as they place her in your arms (she may cry you know) you will know joy, peace, and the fun of getting to know her. There will be bumps probably, but everyone will adjust. Caroline didn't like any of us the first day, liked Rick the rest of the trip, and then me. Enjoy China and savor the time.
The way you feel is normal. Only once you're in China, will you feel the REAL impact of what's going on. I shut down (real normal,NOT!)before leaving.This is sooooo exciting!!!!Take afew deep breathes.
Doreen in Montreal single mom to Faith-Jiangxi & Mia-Sichuan
I can so relate!(especially to the comment about 13 year old boys - believe me that would NOT be a pleasant experience!!).
My sister was in China last week at the trade fair in Canton and she said too bad she didn't know - she could have picked up Kavanna for you! :)
Have an amazing journey!!!!!
xoxoxoValerie, Tony, Nick and Milana
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