We'll probably be leaving in another four weeks and I'm really stressed.
When will we leave? The wait seems interminable and we keep being held up by various things out of our control (the Guangzhou trade fair, the October holiday, etc, etc.).
How will our trip affect Ariel, since she'll be missing so much school?
My Chinese visa came back but my surname (which is hyphenated on my passport) was not hyphenated. I've been in touch with my agency, which is trying to figure out whether or not this will be an issue. In the meantime I'm worried that I won't be allowed into China because the visa isn't right.
Ariel is not happy about the addition to our family. I hope that once Kavanna is a reality and Ariel sees she's not marginalized by her new sister, that she'll be happier, but in the meantime I have a resentful teenager on my hands. I feel for her and I also feel so helpless.
I can't stop worrying about everything.
Is this a typical reaction, five weeks post referral and four weeks prior to travel?
10 comments:
It sounds like a very normal reaction to me! You are so, so close and yet it still seems so far away. I hope everything goes smoothly.
With Ariel, that sounds like normal teenager to me too. I hope you can talk with her and help to ease her concerns.
Nina asked, "Is this a typical reaction, five weeks post referral and four weeks prior to travel?"
Diana responded, "YES! Fasten your seatbelt cause this roller coaster ride could get even wilder!" (It's so worth it in the long run!)
Hi Nina,
All your worries are pretty normal. A lot of unknown, change and excitement are all on your plate. If you are anything like me and like things to be in control and orderly, this time can be trying at best. I hope all goes smoothly for you guys. Your daughter is so adorable!!!
Sorry Ariel is having such a hard time. One can understand her worries. Hopefully, once you are all home and settled, she will see that things are ok and will be less upset.
Can't wait to follow along.
M (your "friend" with whom you share a lot in common, who is just getting back to blogging.)
It will seem hopeless about getting TA - then BOOM, suddenly they will tell you that you have 3 days to book your tickets or they'll do it for you. My rule of thumb for newbies is 7-8 weeks after referral, you travel. The most grinding thing is for people to ask you every-single-day if you've heard yet.
And as for Ariel, I think the great thing is taking her for the trip. I think seeing the poverty and the kids when they arrive, it re-orients your perspective on things. At least you can actually have a civil conversation with your daughter. Our child was throwing the mother of all hissy fits in the Civil Affairs Office with the arrival of her brother.
Girl, if you weren't feeling this way, I would think you were NUTS! My face keeps breaking out, I got a stress fever blister, my fingernails and my cuticles are a mess because I keep chewing on them and I have gained at least 6 pounds since referral because I am eating everything in sight. It's a good stress but it is stress nonetheless.
I'm so sorry to hear about Ariel. I'm sure she will come around once she meets Kavanna.
Much love to you!
Well, I'm a basket case and I haven't even gotten to referral yet. So, I would say you're on target to be stressed at this point. I can only imagine the frustrations of the wait once you know who your child is.
Ahhh...Ariel sounds quite normal to me. Hey, life is about to take a huge turn and it's not clear exactly how it will all shake out to her right now.
I figure if adults are stressed about all the details needing tending then certainly a teen would feel somewhat 'disjointed' about the whole thing. In time...
Thinking of you and hoping the travel details come together quickly now.
You should probably give Ariel some role in Kavanna's life--the best thing to do to get someone on your side is to ask them to do you a favor and be really humble and helpless about it.
I am stressing about documents, and money, too. I need to send Suz with authenticated (by the state and the Chinese Consulate in Chicago) power of attorney forms, and notarized employment letters, and my boss is saying its against company policy to write letters... so I am not sure whats going to be done either.
One more thing to add to your list, too... ABSENTEE BALLOT... You're likely going to be in China for the Presidential Election, and you don't want to miss voting in that...
Nina,
I saw your comment on RQ, but I had trouble signing in so I came to your blog regarding your visa. I have a - name also and on all my documents the - is there. On my visa, no -. Don't worry. Had absolutely no problems at all! Relax and enjoy the trip of a lifetime to your beautiful daughter.
Jody
mommy to Gracie
I think Ariel is probably at the perfect age to feel just rotton about this. I'm sure she is wanting you to "pick" her and call the whole thing off. I'm sorry it can't only be an easy magical time for you all as you anticipate, but, once in China things may change. Woo-boy I'd have encouraged my parents to adopt over and over for a trip to China!
I wonder if you asked her to help you with your worries/stresses if she would feel more included and adult, and maybe rise to the occasion?
I've certainly never seen a man love a daughter as David loves her, so she has nothing to worry about except being idolized by her little sister!
Love you very much!
xx~
Di
I felt the same way until we had travel dates. All your feelings are normal. Ariel's reaction seems appropriate her for her age but I sure she will fall in love with her baby sister as soon as she realizes her place in the family has not changed. Good luck!!
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